Category: All

I woke this morning with renewed energy. Yesterday the enormous job of hand washing our Rogz Cat beds was accomplished. The achievement feels … liberating, energising, affirming in the accomplishment of one of my goals. On my percentage rating of yesterday, I would give it a solid 100%. Holistically it was a perfect day.  

My eating habits stayed within range: alcohol and junk food consumption 0%.   

Pacing my activities so my body could keep up with what was required – 100%. 

Asking for assistance – I did. 

Asking for help may not seem like a big thing to some of you but independent people who have had to do it all for themselves for a long time, find it hard to ask for help. It almost feels as though asking for help is admitting you are a failure and weak. I came to learn that if you ask the right people for assistance, it can be a strengthening experience. 

Getting to bed on time – I was a few minutes late, but I was asleep by ten. I noted it an area needing work. 

The funk I was feeling when waking in the last week has slowly lifted. Today I have a plan, and I’m working through it.  It is time to put on music and get moving on working through my frustrations. Today I choose to be procrastination free.

Its nine in the morning and I smile at myself in the mirror of the bathroom. I took this area and decluttered.
Starting in the shower and getting rid of all the empty shower gel containers, rusty razor blades and random nonessential shower items that somehow get into the racks hanging in the shower.
I pondered how empty shower gel containers in the rack in the shower was any help to personal hygiene instead of being in the recycle bin. Never the less I added these items to the toilet roll inners lined up in perfect military style on top of the drawers standing between the bath and toilet. A quick rinse of the bathtub had revealed more recyclable goods and the pile grew. Finally, all stacked together, I picked up my armful of literal junk and deposited into the recycle bin.
The bathroom felt more open, as though it, as a room, could breathe. After cleaning those necessary items, shower, toilet and basin, I mopped the floor and voila. The bathroom was less frustrating than it had been. Inspiration hit and I pulled out my set of shell accessories that had been in storage since the middle of December last year.
New beginnings required new inspiration. They would go beautifully with my blue walls, beige tiles and white sanitary equipment.
It felt good.
It felt rejuvenating.
It felt wonderful.
It may be a bathroom, but it had become a space I would want to be. An area I wouldn’t mind hovering a while to relax or unwind. Ideas flared through my mind of what would make it better. Time to write it down. Time to allow my creativity to flow.
Hugging myself gleefully I close the door on the creative space I have made and make ready to tackle the next one.

The Kitchen naturally became the next room as I feed the household, load dishwasher and washing machine with the items for each appliance — dishes into the dishwasher and laundry into the washing machine.
Hunger flares and I find leftovers from last nights dinner. Hooray! Bruch it is. The concocted salad from the night before is delicious cold and hot — a recipe for the family recipe file.
Now to remember what I did.
An idea sparks as my Grandmothers words float through my head, “waste not, want not”. I smile in remembrance of the hours of baking, cooking and food prepping. At the tender age of seven, these “menial” tasks were mine to do, but I remember her voice as she instructed me in the creative art of cooking and baking.
Right now, I smile and get the Sh’zen Hand wash containers I emptied into my shell hand wash containers. The Sh’zen plastic containers still have some hand wash in, fantastic. Filling them with water, I shake and Voila!! Handwash available for use at the kitchen sink. It may not be the thick, luxurious handwash before the added water, but it does the job and smells so good. The idea is to work around the room decluttering and cleaning as I go.

The ankle tendon begins to ache. The nerves twitch and twinge. Pulling out my ankle guard in the form of a sock, I pull it one and relief sighs from my lips. The added support helps, and I find the next thing to attend to is the veggie rack.
Food wastage is something I dislike, and before frozen vegetable are used in food, I go through the fresh veggies. Sadly some of the veggies I cannot use and dispose of them. Those I can use I find a recipe for and make a list of everything I do not have. A quick to the store for only those items and one, two, three … soup for dinner is cooking.
The idea for each room is to work through everything on the counters, floor and bags and either use, put away, throw away or give away. Although I could skim over the cleaning of each room, it would not serve the purpose of making a space that held no clutter and made room for creativity.
Dinner is cooking, and I return to the dishwasher, to unpack yet another load and refill with more dishes. It has always astounded me how many you can find when you clean up properly. I’m sure they hideaway waiting for your remark that everything is done and then show themselves.

Reminding myself to pace myself, I look at the to-do list, marking off everything accomplished today. I am amazed at how much has been completed. It’s three in the afternoon, and I need a cup of coffee. Checking my water app, there is a reminder from me to drink a required amount, and my body agrees. Its time to sit, write and rest for a while. I look at the list and work out what can be down over the weekend. It is achievable. The journey of Saving Me will continue, later on, today or tomorrow.

Sitting in the cool of the morning, predawn and today that would be just before four in the morning. My mind roams, thoughts ramble while I stare at the open space in front of our complex. The wind gently bends the growing green-brown grass, while rustling the leaves of the small plants growing and that is when the plan fell into place.
Taking stock of my journey to this point, I inhale deeply before releasing the breath into the silence.
So far, I had control in the area of what I drink and eat. I have control over what I’m attending to during the day. I’m taking time to rest and allow my body and mind to be and I’m making my body move.
So far.
So good.

Now, to address the creative dampening clutter.

Today I sit in front of my laptop, my choice as my brain works faster than my fingers can write, open a clean word processing page in Libre Office and head it.

Thursday 23 January and Friday 24 January 

TO DO LIST

Starting with the least overwhelming room, I write everything that needs to be seen to, fixed, organised or cleaned. For instance, the Bathroom, the bath overflows with cat beds needing washing, I have an A+ for the procrastination course which has been running over for a month.
Hand wash only puts a damper on getting to the project, but today and tomorrow that is what will happen. Any laundry lying around is meeting the washing machine, and the quick general clean of the Bathroom will happen. Once I have put down every overwhelming thing I can think of I move onto the next room that is foremost in my mind and make a list of what needs attending in that room.
The lists for all the rooms stare back at me from the page. Its time to feed me and get ready to visit a friend. Time away from everything also clears the cobwebs and refreshes the soul.
I have a to-do list set for the next two days. I remind myself to pace the activities and make sure that the required tasks happen without draining my energies or pushing myself too far too fast. Taking a room a day is acceptable as long as whatever is on the list gets done.

These lists for each room is like a living thing; they can be added to or diminished as life goes on, and tasks need to be added and get finished.
At the beginning of each month, I am starting a new list, carrying over anything unfinished from the previous month, this may be frustrating at first, but in doing this, it is easier to see what tasks I am procrastinating over and avoiding.
The idea is to address the old tasks first before going on to anything new. In this way, there is no chance of “missing” anything that needs completing.
Who knows new categories may even be found such as “fixing items” or “household maintenance”.

Putting everything on paper is the first step to gaining control over the environment I live in, some of it makes me want to hyperventilate, some of it is frustrating, but I know that all of it will get done. One item at a time. Who knows perhaps I’ll be able to do two at a time. For instance, wash the cat’s beds while washing the laundry. Technology rocks!!
My list is in an electronic format which keeps me from adding to the clutter I’m working through; it inspires me to scan all my necessary but non-essential paperwork such as receipts, bills etc. This way, I only keep what is required.
With anything new, starting somewhere is crucial. Tackling anything as a whole will make the most determined person run from the hills.
Making lists helps to see the actual tasks to be completed, allowing me to recognise the bite-size chunks to work through toward the end goal. Making it manageable is the first step to SAVING ME.
During the early hours of the day, it helped to determine what I needed to make my environment suitable for better creativity. That determined decision is what will drive procrastination from the game and bring a renewed energy to the process.

When doing one item entirely before moving to the next, the overwhelming feeling of drowning in things to do disappears. At this moment, I am doing one task, and I have complete control over this moment.
My water app drops a drip, letting me know its time I need to hydrate. Although it gives me a small amount, I need to drink my body tells me something different.
Another step in taking back what is lost, listen to your body. I decide to drink a full 500ml, and my body sings with appreciation. My task for today regarding food and drink becomes clearer, only water, tea and coffee, while eating as many veggies and salads as possible. Pulling up my task list again, I add “find tasty fun looking salad recipes”.
Doing this feels good.
Doing this feels right.
Strangely this feels creative.
Now off to do the necessary shopping, visit my friend and return to tackle a task on the list. I think the bathroom is an excellent place to start. Manageable. Least overwhelming and the results are tangible.

Its one in the afternoon and I have done two of the three tasks from the paragraph above. I need to have some sustenance, and the third task will begin. I spot some Morrocon Sweet Potatoe Salad and grin. Yummy.
Today will be a good day, and I have a choice in which way it can go.

In any process, we are told acknowledgement of the issues at hand is the first step to solving, resolving or recovering.
What is it we need to solve, resolve or recover?
Looking at my list, I found it covered several issues and challenges. In moments like this, all the self-help advice thunders through your brain and in minutes you have a tension headache trying to wrap your head around everything that needs attending.
In my minds-eye, I look up seeing myself back at that space on the well-used road in the feel-good, don’t care world. Strangling the feeling of fear and anxiety welling up inside and making me want to reach for a crutch, I breathe. Deeply. In and out. Close my eyes and repeat until I feel in control.
No, that technique is not just for yoga classes. It helps.
Looking at my list once more, I recite my rule list. Reminding myself to take one day at a time.
Live moment by moment.
Breathe.
Take one challenge at a time.

I look at my list again

Always being sick or injured
Frustration with constant clutter and mess
Energyless
Overweight and feeling self-conscious about myself
Unorganised and continually trying to get organised
Overwhelmed
Alone
No fun or inspiration – bored
Feel unsuccessful with my passion
Need to earn enough money

One challenge at a time.
Picking up my clipboard, I look at my form with three columns.
Problem. Solution. Daily Tasks.
On my laptop, I open the table. Date it. Then I look at my list of overwhelming challenges. I only have to pick one, just one for today.
Around me is clutter, every surface has way too much on it. It’s a practical place to start, and it will give a sense of having control.
In the modern age we live, households should be beyond the archaic view of the woman does everything, or since you work at home, you can keep everything clean and tidy. The overwhelming task of ploughing through the constant housework, washing and cooking of meals leaves very little time for my passion, Writing. Deadlines loom, and the creativity that needs to flow disappears under the constant drudge of the daily requirements of being left alone in running a home. The consistent expectation of serving with a smile and not complain. Seeing the laundry and dishes pile up unattended because you don’t get to it, meals not cooked because you are busy with other things or trying to get to work that is so behind you push yourself until you have nothing left.
You find yourself sitting alone, on the living room couch, sipping a drink that is not always non-alcoholic, holding tightly to your emotions and swallowing the tears of frustration. Your Super Woman cape hangs shredded, and you are so tired you are wired. Sleep and food don’t seem to make a regular appearance in your daily life. You feel their absence and reach for a crutch to help you through the moment.
Just the thought of this makes me want to hyperventilate.
Again, I breathe deeply, long and allow the tension to evaporate. Procrastination is a constant companion as I look at the frustrations and challenges that need attending.
Today I need to put together a dairy or work plan or calendar showing what needs to happen at what time during the day.
My problem for today … Balance.
It is necessary to be restoring balance while I get to the long list of everything that makes my life overwhelming to live, to cope with and to enjoy.

Balance.

We hear about it in life-work-balance. It becomes a quest to find it when we’re in School, College and University. The saying “everything in moderation” is flung around in all areas but no one explains the “how-to” of obtaining the tricky art form of balance.
After reading articles on the internet and reading medical blogs all about balance, which give me a headache, I came to a conclusion finding it for me is up to me.
To begin with, I wrote down everything I do during each day over a week. Remembering I needed to rest and breathe, have time for fun I left out Saturday and run my week from Sunday to Friday. Now for the tricky art of finding enough time for everything on the list that needs to fit into six days, remembering I need at least nine hours of sleep. Time to try it out for a week or two.

It didn’t go well.
I was doing a lot, which felt fantastic, but I was either starving all the time, thirsty or exhausted after eating. The rollercoaster either made me wired or too tired to function.
Now that I had the “to do” part sorted out the quest for balance continued into the menu, types of food, and when I ate.
During this time of finding my feet with this journey for balance, I realised we need it in every area of our lives. Not just those that society dictates.

Every area of my life. That sound like a few projects I could jot down.

Reminding myself of the rules once more, I begin with Sunday and start with the time I wake up. In Cape Town, South Africa, the sun rises as early as 5am and goes down as late as 8:30pm. Keeping this in mind I slowly going through each hour of the day before moving to the next day.
The weekly calendar/planner looks ready for use with the addition of food options for meals, including times for enjoying.
Yes, it does sound profoundly anal. You forget life to this point in my life has been a chaotic rush from one point to point with little to no intention.
Looking at the list once more, I highlight the issues addressed today.

Finding more balance in:
Daily living
Food – what can and should be eaten daily
Organising the time available to me for attending to matters which arrive in my life.
Finding control for what I put into my body and how
Making time to exercise even though recovering from a torn ankle tendon.
Looking at possibilities and opportunities to better my environment and reduce the clutter

It’s terrific to address the subjects above, but the follow-through is in the day to day living. Other things need to be worked on and maintained.
Mindset.
Attitude.
Knowing how dedicated you are to the journey.
Drive.
Determination.
Discipline.
Follow through.
All of these are necessary to keep you going through the hard times ahead. Even while procrastination sits on your shoulder like an evil version of yourself telling you all of this can be done tomorrow. Perhaps it is time to put him or her back on the train back to where you came from.
Determine what your goals are … find a way you can achieve them that is obtainable and stick to it.
Yep, that is my chant for today … I’m going to make a song out of it somewhere along the line, I have no problem with that. It’s creative. I need creative.
Today I have control over the process.
Today I can make some changes.
Today I can look at myself and affirm my beauty, my brains, my determination and resolve.
Today I shall succeed.

During the day, I waver a little. Breathing deeply, I remind myself that a journey such as this is a path to be found in the jungle of life. It is uncharted waters or a forest requiring bushwacking. A scene from those movies where the characters take a “wrong turn” and need to go back to find their way.
This journey is mine, and I shall find ways to make a path to the goals I require to a better me.

In everyone’s lives, there comes the point in time where you look at yourself, literally or figuratively and know there is a better version somewhere out there. Some call it a resolution starting a new year with new intentions. It could be at a certain point in your life. Others may say they are affirming their lives and changes that are needed. While others look at themselves and say “I don’t like what I’ve let happen here. I can be better. I can do better. I can feel better.”
Regardless of where you’re looking from the reality is you want a better you, a healthier you, a sweeter or kinder you. Whether that is in the physical, the mental, the psychological or simply feeling better. Whatever you decide the journey to be, you start from where you are, moving to that point of where you need to be, something like this is not for the faint of heart.

Ending the Gregorian Calander with several issues piling on from mid-September different frustrations and challenges seemed to find me. Not shy to generously spend time with me. I found myself working through many things, from immobilising injuries keeping me from my daily life, routines and enjoyments, to business issues and the dreaded writer’s block.
One early Summer morning, I found myself sitting in the early hours, sipping a hot cup of green tea watching the sunrise over the horizon. My mind kept going in circles, pondering where the life-loving, bubbly, gentle soul had gone.
Somewhere along the line, I had lost … me.

At that moment, I knew that something needed to change. It is easy to follow the path everyone else has, its wide, well used, full of bad habits everyone condones. It’s effortless to be in this area, no one has to be held accountable for their bad choices and decisions made. Nor do they need to care about themselves or the effect they have on others around them.
The selfish highway of life seems to be fun, but it really is not. Its noise sounds like everyone is having a good time and the endless feel-good events never give you an opportunity for silence.
In the silence, you can hear your heartbeat, your soul speak, and your body tells you what it truly needs. It is in these times we can connect once more with ourselves.
Re-evaluate.
Re-think.
Re-design.
My early morning pondering made me realise I had not had the opportunity for any of this. If I didn’t like what I was looking at within myself, it was up to me to make the changes. It is up to me to look at my immediate world and craft it to what I desired and needed it to be.
Purpose bloomed. Instead of being frustrated and finding a crutch to get through it, it was time to throw the crutch away and define my way forward.

Firstly, when coming to a decision this monumental in your life, there are a few things you need to do.
One is, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. Start the process of finding your way immediately.
Reaching over I picked up one of my ever-present notebooks. On the plus side of writing, you are never short of something to write on or with. Some girls buy shoes, Writers buy notebooks and stationery.
By the light of the rising sun, I jotted down everything I found a frustration, hinderance or something I needed to improve.
When doing something like this, take your time. Allow yourself to think, formulate expressions, notice and comprehend emotions and where they are coming from. Once you have the source, find the root and jot everything down, including what it is that makes you feel the way you do.
Recognise your crutches and examine and understand why you have them. Jot down the areas of your life where they are needed and what needs to be done for them to be unnecessary.

When the immediate task is done. Hug yourself. Love yourself and let you know that things will get better, that you will be able to work through all that is wrong to be a better version of who you presently are. 

Make a list of daily rules. 

1. Be gentle on you. 
2. Love yourself unconditionally
3. Accept yourself as you are … right now.
4. Do not judge yourself. 
5. Live one day at a time.
6. Live moment by moment to get through and address challenges.
7. Speak to yourself daily. Tell yourself how beautiful/handsome you are. Tell yourself today is going to be a good day. Today you shall succeed in everything you do. 
8. Remind yourself this is a process and is obtainable. 
9. Rest and breathe. Disconnect from the world. 
10. If you fall, get up, dust yourself off and determine to do better tomorrow.

Looking at my pages of negative information I had written about myself, realisation slammed into me, leaving me breathless. My mission this year is to save myself from destruction.
In my writing genre, every mission needs a plan of execution to change the negative into a positive. Depending on the enormity of the task, the method of execution differed.
It was time.
Time to look at what needed to change in every area of my life and plan my mission in chewable daily bite-size chunks.

A sense of renewed life flowed through me. I held the power of change for my life in my hands. This was something I could control. Something I could define, mould and be proud of. No longer did I feel limited by another’s expectations of who I should be. No longer did I sense I needed to be someone else’s idea of perfection.
This journey, this mission of saving me was for me, by me and no one else had a say in anything I did on this road.
Stopping on that wide road of everyone being and doing whatever supposedly made them happy at that moment. I stepped to the pavement hailing a ride to the entrance where I lingered a while, looking around at what it was like not to conform, not to follow the crowd. It is much less noisy and crowded. Much less travelled.
There is no need to hurry anywhere. The false sense of “needing” to do something or be somewhere or always thinking that success is in as much as you do, or what you wear, or who you know, or what car you drive. All of that fell away. Leaving me to breathe, feel, think, be, and look around.
I have time. Time to decide what is best for me. What is it that I need to be the best, happier and more centred version of me?
What is needed for me to blossom into a more beautiful me?

The sun shines off the water as I push my toes into the sand under my feet. Closing my eyes my lungs expand sucking in the salty, chilled ocean breeze. My imagination fills, my creative soul stirs … inspiration … it can come from anywhere.

Writing is an art. An art which brings a picture to the imagination. An art which brings a world, story or character to life. An art which makes a place for others to escape to.

In preparing to begin another story many questions arise. How do you know what to write?

How do you stay inspired? Do you need to be inspired or should you just write?

What exactly it is you want to write?

Do you plan a story or go with the flow?

How do you find the drive to move forward?

When you’re writing how do you stay on point, not having to go back and have to re-read what you have written?

Every writer has a different way of being creative. Although someone may have a way writing doesn’t mean it will work for you. It doesn’t mean that parts of what they do won’t work for you. Don’t close your mind to what others say even when everything inside you objects to the words being uttered. Resolutions to problems come with various viewpoints.

In this time of preparation it is important to have moments when nothing is on your mind but your next book or writing project.

Carving out time to focus and work is important. Make sure you have days where there is nothing to distract you.

Make sure that although you will be writing … a lot … there are times when you can step away, out into the sunshine and experience the world with you.

Find what fills you to the brim so you can go back to work and express yourself.

Make sure there is healthy food and drink to eat even if you find yourself stress eating while writing and reaching for those potato chips, popcorn, biscuits, soda’s etc. It makes no sense to feel bogged down while trying to be creative and write.

November month is worldwide National Writers Month or we call it NanoWriMo. It is a month where writers all around the world go online and dive into a month of committed writing. The goal … first draft in a thirty days. That is not easy, for anyone to achieve but in November many writers embrace the hysteria, the excitement, the heart-stopping panic, the moments of writers-block, the moments where only coffee, sunshine and finding inspiration save not only the stories needing to be told but also the sanity of many. At the end of thirty gruelling days, writers all over the world emerge with smiles of relief, joy, achievement knowing they have the dedication and drive to accomplish their goals.

It sounds easy to sit down and put words on paper … so here is a challenge to those who are thinking about writing … join NaNoWriMo and see if you can meet the goal and put your story on paper.

Find your way through even if it is with Coffee, Sunshine and Inspiration.

The sun rises over the horizon, a beautiful blue – orange stripe across the top of the mountains, filling my view from the lounge window. Nestled in the couch under a comforter, a hot coffee and my cat, Felicity, who burrows next to me. The solitude and early morning beauty is an inspiration to put words to a page.

In the quiet characters spring to life., worlds explode, begging to be visible. Stories of lives pop up. Putting all of this together is an adventure that comes to life on paper, giving a place to escape. The adventure is to experience living with the characters that come to life.

Breathing in, I start typing and let the words flow. The story twists and turns, meshing together and when it is done the sun is high in the sky, rain falls softly, my flask of coffee is empty. The clock says its lunchtime, and my stomach rumbles in agreement. Something quick is eaten. My mind goes through the storyline, and possibilities come to life.

Tomorrow is another day to meet my characters. But for now … its goodnight.

Once over the procrastination course life seems to throw everything your way. All those lovely distractions that look so … wonderful …. is seen for what they are … distractions.

When the story starts to flow a storyteller lives at that moment. Focuses and so it has been for the past two weeks. The patience of my family has been amazing as the winter darkness has fallen and meals have been late or washing of clothes has been put on hold and draped all over the interior of our abode due to the amazing rain falling outside.

The end of the year is coming closer, social events start to pack up in the calendar, and the storyteller becomes overwhelmed to fit it all in. To the storyteller, not writing is like a pile of “lemons”. Let’s make lemonade!!!

Using the technology of the day this storyteller sets alarms to remind her of simple things like … Eat Lunch … Coffee / tea break … Do Laundry … but does it really work?

There are times when you are so involved in a scene that not every the jangle of an automated alarm penetrates the world you are in. Making Lemonade takes work …. so when there is silence in the house and no one is around this is the time for the storyteller makes a schedule of her own.

We all know that every good plan doesn’t always work out. Just when you have it working like you need it the lemons get added some more. Water goes off during the day and back on in the evening. Changing sleeping patterns, allowing work to be done during the night, and sleeping during the day is never easy and when writing becomes spontaneous … sleep becomes erratic.

Being a storyteller means life is not neat, predictable, easy or stacked in categories … it means taking a stack of lemonade and creating a type of lemonade that brightens the world around you, touches hearts and souls … and makes tomorrow something worth looking forward to.

When you finished a book, its out in the world and you’re hoping that someone likes your story … you look around … the first thing you do is breathe in deep and exhale. You get into the living of life and sorting of what was not seen to and still you mind is not truly back in this world. Its living in another world, with other people, doing what do, seeing what they see and somewhere inside you start to plan how to “escape” this world so you can write about the other.

Finding a place to disappear to, a place where there is silence … inside and out … a place where nature fills and inspire you to be the best in that moment. Passion to write the story on the page makes a writer retreat from the reality of life … for a few moments. But in those few moments worlds can be built, characters can be born, life can be lived in a different place and time. Cities can be built and destroyed in a moment. Love can be found, lost and found once more with a flip of a page and still,the writer scribbles on.

Getting back to the wonder of putting a story to a page is the reward for facing life around us. We do the piles of laundry, we de-clutter the shelves, cupboards and rooms that have somehow gotten out of hand and we face therapeutic tasks such as cleaning the greasy oven and fridge that would win a science fair. We do all of this so when we sit once more to spill our story to a page our minds are rested, de-cluttered and clear, our bodies have been worked, rested, walked and loved but most of all our souls have had time to reconnect with why we love doing what we do.

When the shelves are clear … the kitchen scrubbed until it sparkles … the cupboards sorted and the clothes clean. There is one more obstacle to battle…

The Procrastination Course!!

The door to the course beckons sweetly and tantalizes the writer to come in, take a class or two and even has the Excuse Manual on hand for you as you walk through the door. The challenge is to make sure you don’t linger in the comfortable chairs, play the games, read the books and watch the TV shows … well … not for too long. You may get an A, but the writer in you yearns to get back to the world it loves … to begin the journey once again.

Success on the journey, to begin the chapter of the story, or capture the new idea is always to remember where to find your groove, without it, the writer stumbles to a discordant tune and misses the beats needed to find the rhythm. So, here I am sitting at the beautiful seaside, listening to the waves crash, the gulls cry, the warm Winter sun wrapping me gently as the slight chill from the ocean fills my senses and wakes me to the possibilities of where my storybook life can go.

Let the music play, the dancers dance, I begin another journey of the heart.

The day arrived. Self publishing accomplished. The Publish button has been pushed …. it is out there.

The journey has been completed. My dream of writing a novel has finally come true and it is out there.

Those haunting words … it is out there … makes my breath catch in my throat and my heart pound faster. At the same time excitement flows through me and I’m ready for the next adventure.

The adventure of my first complete novel has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Excitement, determination, inspiration, frustration, amazement, fear, self-doubt and exhilaration. The spectrum of a writer who has a passion for the written word and a story or two to tell.

Seeing my book available for sale does not take away the feeling that some may not like it. I am reminded of my writing mentors words … your story is not for everyone, its for those who find it entertaining, for those to whom it speaks and for those who fall in love with your world and your characters. A writer cannot please everyone … we are writers to tell stories we are inspired to tell.

For the Writer out there that wishes to become an Author. Never give up. Never give in. Drink the drink that gets you there, eat the food that keeps you going, find that place that inspires you, the muse that keeps your creative juices going and continue to write your story.

One day … it will be out there.

The clock shows twenty minutes to twelve at night, and here I am wondering when the supposed inspiration will strike. I’m putting words on paper and have been, for what seems like a century, but in reality, it is only three months. Heavens, its seems so long.

I crave release from the tension in my shoulders, neck and brain but a deadline is a deadline. The tedious journey of getting the story down continues. The necessity of discipline to achieve goals rattles once more in the back of my mind. Reaching for a tissue I swipe at the tears of frustration, bite down on the perseverance and take a swig of my cold coffee. Flex my aching shoulders, and onward I go.

Somewhere around two in the morning I finally get the section down and although I’m not happy with the quality of sentences I know the journey has just begun on this new piece of work and it will hopefully be a work of art to someone when it goes into print. Even though I have gone through many tissue boxes and mood swings while getting my stories down, I understand that without tenacity it could not be done. While holding on tightly to the journey never forget that tears make every writer human, and tissues are there to remind us that no matter where you are on your path of writing, everything can be cleaned up.