Life throws so much at us all the time, in every way. It’s information overload, the high frequencies put out there so the world can go faster, do more, be more, and achieve more. But in trying to meet the expectations of those running the science lab of life, we forget that we don’t have to be on that treadmill.
We have a choice to say … this doesn’t work for me. It’s not who I am or what I want; I don’t believe or trust that. We can also choose by saying … I do trust or believe in …. (add your own words).
The power of thought is everything.
The power of choice is uniquely ours.
We can only be controlled when we believe we don’t have the power of choice. When we allow others to dictate what we will do, eat, say, be, wear, or go, we give away the essence of who we were designed to be.
We give away the gifts, passions, talents and abilities we were born with.
In the journey of Saving Me, it has come home hard that even what I allow to trigger is my choice. But to get to that point, it takes many steps toward acknowledging that you have a trigger, what it is, why it’s there, and what you will allow it to damage in your life or anyone else…
…. it’s your choice.
No, it’s not easy. It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t present itself tied up in a bow, neatly presented in bite-size pieces for you to understand, acknowledge, learn more about, and finally put in where it’s supposed to be, in the open for you to remember that you’re only human and it has no hold on you.
It usually jumps out at you, slamming into you when you least expect it. There may be days when the stress levels are so high, and you’re so tired that you don’t know what day of the week it is, the overwhelming sense of having too much on your plate or in your life or simply just … too much … and … BOOM!!
Hello Trigger.
Without realising it, you’re binge eating, drinking a whole bottle of wine, eating numerous slabs of chocolate or abusing yourself physically,
When you come to realise, “wake up” and see what you’ve done, consumed, not done, don’t remember … then comes the crippling guilt, hate, anger … probably a ton more emotions, and the cycle begins again. But when you have had enough of the cycle.
What do you do?
We can recite what “they” say, the supposed experts on the subject, but have they lived through what you have? Have they experienced what you have? You see … just like them … we don’t know. But here is the scary question.
How much do you love yourself?
Can you look yourself in the mirror and give yourself a high five? Tell yourself you’re beautiful? Send yourself flowers with a card that says things like “I love you”, “You’re amazing”, or “No matter what is happening, you can handle it.”
No? Not even close?
Start small.
Every time you see yourself, smile, wave and say something cute like “looking good gorgeous.”
Write a list of things you’d like sent to you; I call it “A Self-Love list”. Then, once a week, pick something and send it to yourself, and every time you cross it off, you add something decadent for you to the list. Everyone is different, and everyone’s list will look different, but you’re appreciating yourself. You are different! You’re unique, memorable and never alone. That last part is true. Even if you think you are alone, you’re not. There is always someone to reach out to.
So now that you appreciate who you are and compliment yourself look in the mirror into your own eyes, see yourself, and high-five yourself. Sure, it sounds stupid or corny, but every time you acknowledge that you got this, you’re doing well, and you did it … something will shift.
The most significant step to loving yourself is acknowledging that you are worth appreciating, high-fiving, treating, complimenting and putting in the work to be a better version of yourself.
Once you realise that, where does a trigger or trauma play any part in your life? It doesn’t, because you know you’re better than that. You’re more worthy than what happened; you’ve worked through it, understand what it is, and have learned that it has nothing to do with you.
Now, wrap your arms around you and squeeze. Yes, give yourself a hug. Why?
Because … you’re loved, unique and worth it.